Having trouble seeing this email? Click here to view online.

footy4kids

100% youth soccer coaching

Issue 246 – Sometimes coaches can be bullies – Thursday, 19 January 2012

Also in this issue:

Did you know it was Anti-Bullying Week recently?

No, nor did I, and none of the youth soccer coaches I've spoken to knew anything about it either.

And that's a shame because bullying is sometimes a big problem in youth soccer teams and coaches have to be able to recognise bullying when they see it and know what to do about it.

They also need to try to stop it from happening in the first place.

We also have to recognise that bullying in youth soccer is not confined to player v player. Sometimes coaches are bullies too.

So today's article is, sadly, essential reading.

If you've had to deal with bullying in your team, or if you've been the target of bullies yourself, please tell me about it by clicking here. 

If your story is chosen to appear in the newsletter, I won't publish your name and I will change any details that could identify the people or the clubs concerned.

Yours in soccer,

Steve Watson, Editor

PS - If you wish to unsubscribe from the free newsletter (or just from the marketing emails) you can do so at anytime here. Marking this email as 'junk' in your email service will not stop you receiving them. If you have any difficulty unsubscribing please email me at steve@footy4kids.co.uk.

Cut it out! How to deal with bullying in youth soccer teams

• 26% of children and young people were bullied outside of school last year.
• 44% of child suicides have been linked to bullying incidents.

        Source – Beatbullying.org, November 2010

No matter how much care you put into planning your coaching sessions and how hard you try to make soccer a fun experience for your players, you are failing them if you don't spot and deal effectively with bullying behaviour.

What is bullying?

Bullying can be a one-off incident or take place over a period of time and can take several forms:

• Emotional bullying includes being unfriendly, hurtful, excluding others, hiding things like soccer boots and using threatening gestures.  

• Physical bullying includes kicking, punching and any form of physical violence.

• Racist bullying includes taunts and gestures.

• Verbal bullying includes name calling, spreading rumours and teasing.

        Source: The FA

What are the signs?

• A player complains of being bullied.

• A player suddenly starts to miss training sessions or when they are at training, they appear withdrawn or complain of feeling ill.

• Unexplained scratches or bruises.

• Torn clothing.

• Complaining of having no friends at training, saying "no one will pass to me" or taking drinks breaks on their own.

• A player or players(s) who are excluded from groups or teams.

• A player who says their property (boots, trainers etc) are going missing or being hidden.

• Excessive "banter".

What's wrong with a bit of banter?

"Soccer banter isn't bullying. It's just a bit of gentle teasing, a few silly jokes. It's harmless!"

But are jokes made at other players' expense really acceptable, even if they are made in an apparently light-hearted way?

Ask yourself: Would soccer-style banter be acceptable in any other setting, such as in a classroom or at home?

And how do you know that the subject of the "banter" is not upset or embarrassed?

In youth soccer, negative remarks can be hurtful and damaging to team morale and the line between friendly teasing and bullying is too easy to cross. So play it safe, don't allow your players to make jokes about each other or tease anyone, no matter how light-hearted it seems. And make sure you don't do it, either.

What you need to do

Ensure your players know what bullying is and that it will not be tolerated. Explain that any negative comments about team mates (or coaches, parents, officials or the opposition) will result in sanctions ranging from the loss of playing time to expulsion from the team. 

Tell your players that it's OK to complain if they are being treated badly by one of their team mates. And, just as important, they should tell you if they see someone else being bullied. After all, you don't have eyes in the back of your head and bullies can be very secretive.

If you spot behaviour that can be classified as bullying, you should take prompt action but don't dive in. You could do more harm than good if you identify a child as the victim of bullying in front of his or her peers. So be sensitive. Take the victim to one side (but not out of sight of everyone else) and ask the child to tell you about the incident.

You then have to discuss the incident with the alleged bullies and their parents. This will probably be difficult, but it has to be done. It will be a lot easier to talk about bullying with an "offender" and parents if your club has an up-to-date and well-communicated anti-bullying policy.

Nip it in the bud

Keep your eyes open. If you notice that a player is being excluded or is the subject of a lot of attention, find out why:

"I noticed that X wasn't passing the ball to you today, why do you think that was?"

"You seemed to have a lot to say to the goalkeeper, what was that all about?"

Abusive coaches

Football is one of the few areas where it seems to be acceptable for adults to belittle, shout at and reduce children to tears.

Coaches who criticise players in front of their team mates, pull players off the field if they make a mistake or make young children sit on the bench for whole matches should not be tolerated.

What they are doing is an abuse of their position of power. It's not "character building", or "tough love" it is bullying.

If you see it happening, it's your duty to stop it by speaking directly to the coach concerned or reporting your concerns to a club official.

Conclusion

Bullying is common in youth soccer (and anywhere else where children gather) but it's not inevitable.

Football coaches can prevent bullying from happening within their team by teaching their players to respect and value their team mates – irrespective of their physical appearance or soccer ability – and clamping down hard on any bullying behaviour.

Resources:

www.beatbullying.org

www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk

www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk                                         

www.bullying.co.uk

www.stopbullying.gov

Ghost – by coach Nathan

Objective: To improve communication, to practise defending as a team.

Age range: U9s and upwards.

Difficulty: Moderate.

Set-up: Divide your players into two, evenly matched teams.

Create a 40 yards long by 30 yards wide pitch with goals at either ends.

How to play:

• The coach picks a "ghost" player for each team.

• The opposing team does NOT know who the ghost is.

• The ghost is the only player who can score a goal.

Note: If a player other than the ghost scores, it counts as an own goal. Award a point to the other team.

• Change the ghost every time he or she scores.

Coaching notes: The attacking team has to work together to create shooting opportunities for the ghost while the defence tries to figure out who the ghost is and defends, or doubles up on the ghost to prevent a goal from being scored.

Nathan says: "I have a striker on my team that simply refused to pass the ball.

"She would rather kick the ball out of bounds before making a safe back pass. Ghost helped her learn the meaning of team work and all my girls love the game!"

Steve's Coaching Clinic

A nine-year-old who wants to hang up his boots

My nine-year-old's coach will only ever play my son at left back, even during training sessions. 

I have asked the coach to let him have a go at playing other positions so he can get some experience.  The coach tells me nine-year-old players should have decided where they are going to play and stick to that position. 

This seems crazy to me!  

My son hates playing left back and sadly keeps asking if he can retire from the game – at the ripe old age of nine!

My answer

Dear coach,

A few years ago I had a very good 'keeper in my U10 girls' team. She loved saving shots and didn't want to play outfield so we let her stay as goalkeeper until the last game of the season. On that day, I moved all the players around. The 'keeper played as striker, scored five goals and never went back between the sticks again. She went on to become our top goalscorer.  

Your son's coach really should know that you can't predict which position a child will be best suited to until they are at least 11 or 12. And saying that a nine-year-old should choose his own position and then stick to it is just silly. All young players should be encouraged to play in every position, including goalkeeper.

That's not to say that players should be constantly moved around the pitch. Youngsters need to be given a match or two to settle down at left back, right back, striker, midfield etc. Then can you see where they are most comfortable and, perhaps, where they best fit in with the rest of the team.

So have another word with your son's coach. Tell him that the prospect of spending the next 20 years at left back is making him think of giving up.

If the coach still won't relent, you're going to have to find another club for your son to play for.

Best wishes,

Steve Watson
editor, footy4kids

You can add your comments to this Coaching Clinic on the footy4kids forum.

Send your youth soccer coaching questions to steve@footy4kids.co.uk and I'll do my best to help. If I don't know the answer, I'll find someone who does.

© 2012 footy4kids

Click here to unsubscribe

Having trouble seeing this email? Click here to view online.