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by Jim White |
Synopsis: On Sunday mornings Jim
White has the following choice: visit the supermarket, buy trellising at
B'n'Q, or stand on the sidelines of a muddy municipal football pitch, his
trouser cuffs wetter than a weekend in Llandudno, shoulder-to-shoulder
with a motley crew of mums, dads, step-parents and same-sex life partners
all screaming at their beleaguered offspring. You'll find Jim in the same
place every week, failing to organise a bunch of lads into something
resembling a team while on the far side of the park his opposite number, a
wannabe Mourinho in brashly monogrammed tracksuit, struts the sidelines,
shouting - always shouting.
This is the hilarious story of Jim
White's time as manager of his son's football team: the highs, the lows,
and the dog turd in the centre circle. At this level, winning spirit is
not so much about passion, pride and belief as praying that your star
centre forward has remembered his boots. Most importantly, it's about the
enduring relationship between fathers, sons and football. This is the
story no one who has ever watched his or her child play sport will want to
miss.
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| My review:
I was hooked from the opening page (see the extract below) when
I found myself a) chuckling and b) wondering how much I looked like
Jim White on Sunday mornings. The uncomfortable truth is that I know I
do, even if I like to think of myself as a cool, detached coach who
likes to let his team get on with the game with minimal intervention
from the touchline.
Verdict: an original, well written
and really funny book! |
You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football
retails at £12.99 but you can buy it for just £7.79 (plus postage)
from Amazon.
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An
extract from
You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football
, pp1/2:
"Just look at him, the touchline wally.
What kind of figure does he think he is cutting, with his shouty red face
and his jabby finger? There he is, overheated and overexcited, as if hat is
going on is the final of the Champions League, not a fixture in the local
youth football league, U14 section. Can he not see that he is a comedy
staple? does he not realise that he is a stereotype of our times: the
stressed out manager of a boys' football team?
He seems to think it is appropriate on a
Sunday morning to stalk the side of a pitch while a few kids kick a ball
around, behaving as if he is Alex Ferguson patrolling the Old Trafford
technical area....
He really is a sad, sorry sight. Someone
should take a video of him. It would be a useful tool in FA training
sessions: how not to retain your touchline composure. At the very least, I
should snap him on my phone....There is, however, just one problem with such
an idea. I am that touchline wally. I am that unhinged fool. And the fact
is, even if I could take a snap of myself, my phone is no fit state for
photography, as I have just taken it out of my pocket and flung it to the
ground, together with my car keys and about £1.48 in loose change."
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